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Aislin's Dreams
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| No, I’m not going you few and proud loyal readers, but I have to admit that Livejournal is a drag. There isn’t much I can do with it. It’s a pain in the ass to put a picture up with a post, and the spell check sucks. It tells me a misspelled word, and I have to hunt said word down and fix it. And as bad as my spelling is, that is a serious pain in the rear. Also not many people are on livejournal anymore, so instead of making them go out of their way to read my thoughts, I post the exact same entry 2 other places. Which often result in me giving up on the post even if I’m done writing it.
I hate posting on Myspace, because well it’s apain just to log on and navigate the thing. Really the maker of myspace should be beat for this along with TOM, just because the guy annoys me. I also post on deviantart. Not like one artist really reads my posts, occationally they maight look at my art, but nothing as far as reading what I have to say. And you can’t block people on there.
So do I pack up my entries and move them to a new blog page? And if I do, were do I take them? Well there is typepad, TokyoCowgirl uses that one and it looks pretty neat. Or there is blogger which Foren Saleryman uses. It looks neat and interactive with other things. I just don’t know. Any thoughts?
In other news, our taxes are done. WOOT! We manage to not owe the government anything. Brett said we can start house hunting again. So we are to see a place tomorrow. Seems promising. We will see though. I had to laugh when the house right next to us went up for sale. Wonder how long until it sells. At the price they are listing it at, it’s not going to sell quick, you can get a one owner old new house for cheaper. But of course my idea of worth is sckewed.
I’m a very tired person. My cats thought is was a great idea to wake me up an hour early. Their little tards. They think since they woke me up earlier that I would get up and feed them earlier. No dice. I very rarely get up before I have to awake or not. This is a lesson the cats are learning the hard way. You might not be able to out stubborn a cat, but you can sure make it and unpleasant experience for them if they try to wake you up too early. What is annoying is they work in shifts. If one fails the other steps up and tries something else. Rory takes the cute kitten aproach. Whith cute little m’ows and cold nose sniffing of the face. She does the occational bite on the head when you are late getting up. Shank uses a more physical approach. He m’ows loudly and headbutts. He also walks all over you and as big a cat as he is it’s not plesant. I usually shoo them away or roll over to avoid them, but they keep on until I annoy them physically in some way, then they retreat and m’ow occationally from the safety of their pedestile. But if I’m awake enough to annoy them, then I’m fully awake and unlikely to get back to sleep, so I just watch TV.
Morning isn’t the only problem. There is their midday meal and dinner. Which always are supposed to come earlier than scheduled, because they say so. If I give in a feed them earlier, she start up asking for it earlier than that the next day. And they MUST have 3 meals a day. You can’t just double up dinner because you weren’t home in time for their midday meal. No they want that meal at dinner time or when you walk in the door, then an hour later they want their dinner. If you don’t do it that way, the bitching will continue until you at least give them a treat. They lie often. If I feed them then go back to bed , when I get up they think act like I didn’t feed them yet. Or if I fed them a while ago and Brett wasn’t around they lie to him, trying to get him to feed them.
They aren’t always annoying. I do love them to bits, it’s just like most animals, there is a good side and a bad side. And anyone who says that cats are aloof and not demanding, hasn’t seen my cats. Rory also carries on conversations with you, or bitches about nothing at all. Which is quite comical. Shank gets so excited sometimes that his m’ows turn into meh’cows. I usually laugh at this. They snug good too. I love cuddling with them in bed and often use it as an excuse to not get up. Rory likes me to hold her. I rock her and pat her like a baby and that makes her happy. Apparently she doesn’t like it when Brett does it. But I’m sure there is something special she lets Brett do that she doesn’t want me to do. I love my kittles (no realation to the store) and they light up my day.
Well I’m done talking about things you might not care about. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | comments: Leave a comment   |
| So I have a channel on my TV called Planet Green, that tells you all the different ways you can live green. The problem is, they don’t always factor money into all of this. Shop at whole foods stores, only buy recycled products, avoid buying non-recyclable products. All this is well and good if you are well off, but the average person during this recession is getting the cheapest thing out there and glad for it. I try to buy green when I can, but when the difference is dollars, I have to go for the cheaper, well because I’m poor. Oh I fully intend on converting whatever house I get to being as green as possible, because a more green house is a ton of money saved each month. I’ll grow my veggies, compost, and recycle, but other than that, I don’t know how much farther I can go. Man this channel is warping my head.
So I gave in and now I have a Twitter account. Just look for LadyAislin, if you want to follow the boring stuff I type on there. I also after much prodding from my mom and sister, have a facebook account. All I do on there is read other peoples updates and mess with my farmtown app. I really don’t see that much of a point, but it’s a low key way to stay up to date with family and friends. If you know my name then you can find my facebook account.
I have to buy new jeans. Grrr!. My last good pair of levis ripped 2 weeks ago. I had already been pushing it, by squeezing into jeans 1 size too small, but even levis wear out. They really don’t make them like they use to. One thing I will actually pay good money for is jeans, because I know that cheap jeans wear out way, way too quickly. I have to order them too, because all these jean companies are more about fashion than anything. Like I love wranglers, they are the best long lasting jeans out there. But now they have an Aura line for women. The material is thinner and it has elastic in it. And of course no store in Indy carries the classic lines, so I have to get on line and order them, then go out and get a leather needle for my sewing machine and start the whole process of hemming them up. Which is not fun. I usually requires me finding a mirror that I can put of the floor, a lot of looking behind me several different ways and accidently poking my feet and ankles with strait pins 20 times. Then go through the long process of preparing to sew it and then praying that the needle doesn’t break, the whole time I’m sewing it. I’m also going to have to make some new summer clothes for myself because all the cute stuff I got last year isn’t going to fit this year, which makes me sad, because it was so cute. I still have to hem my new work pants, or just wear heels while I wear them, which is most likely what the designer had in mind, but not me. Heels love to hurt my feet. I don’t know how anyone walks long distances in them, unless they lost all feeling in their feet, or are hopped up of heavy pain meds. Plus I don’t agree with most of the styles out right now. It looks like maternity wear. I’m not fond baby doll shirts. Plus I’m fully able to make my own clothes. If only I could make jeans I would be set, but its way easier said than done. I want one of those adjustable tailor’s mannequins. Those are so neat and it would be easier to make clothes that fit me. I need to get sewing again. First thing I need to make is a under shirt corset. My belly needs to be tamed.
Well today is day one of the Great Shiner Experiment. Much to the dismay of seemingly everyone in my family, I’m going to attempt to keep Shiner with me. I agreed that if she shows signs of stress I will take her back to my parents, but my goal all along has been to bring her home with me to stay. She is my dog, and she needs to be the dominate one, and she can’t have that with my parent’s dogs. It’s like living with your parents all your life. You can never be the one in charge. Brett is worrying about Rory, but she will adjust like Shank adjusted to her.
I think it is possible to get a repetitive motion injury from mouse clicking. My f’ing hand and arm hurts from clicking repeatedly on this task that I’m working on. Of course it doesn’t help that I already have some hand problems, like arthritis developing. It’s also been really cold lately and rainy. Both Brett and I’s knees have been feeling it. He’s bent his 500 ways from Sunday and I moved my kneecap during 9th grade year playing volleyball. But I have my fuzzy children to keep me warm at night. So that’s good. I wish this project would get done soon, so my poor fingers can rest.
Well I think I’ve rambled on long enough. Now for more productive things, like lunch! LOL! Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'm crazy, or I'm going crazy. My brain is so messed up. It's a strange mixture of different things. I keep yearning for kids as crazy as that sounds. I also am missing Brett at night. Yes I'm surrounded by my fuzzy children at night. But I miss his scent and presence. I miss the feeling that I get when he's in bed with me. I'm trying not to complain and not bug Brett about it because he needs his sleep, but I hope he eventually feels like he can sleep in the bed again.
Then there is a house thing. I keep having dreams about the house. Like I have in the past somehow my grandparents are involed in it. Their house, but not. Its hard to explain. They are involved and my mind say it's theirs but it't not in reality. I dream of a tall old barn/garage/house that is box shaped. I also dream of a three level home that windes around like a maze of sorts. It all feels so familar and good, I just haven't found anything like that. I don't know what it all means. I have also dremnt of a beautiful apartment/townhouse with Cherry cabinets, marble countertops and stone tile floors. That feels home and wonderful too. I just don't know what this all means. I don't know if such places exist and what do my grandparents have to do with all of this? Does anyone know, or will this mystery stay that way.
Sorry about the bad set up of this blog entry. This is thrown together real quick on my phone before bed. I just had to get it off my mind.
Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It seems everyone is sick. Even I have been having rendezvous with not feeling well. Brett, it usually hits him like a wrecking ball, leaving him curled up on his Steiner Recliner with a blanket over his head. But from what I hear, just about everyone at work is feeling the same way. If Brett is healthy enough to come to work tomorrow, we only have a half day. Lucky dog. My grandma is coming down tomorrow to spend the night at mom and dad’s. Maybe I can get her to go look at a house with us. Of course I have to convince Brett to go see the place to. That’s a whole other thing. The curse of the house hunt. I have watched tons of house hunting shows on HGTV that show a young couple just starting out or needing to move up to something bigger because of a growing family. Their agent shows them 3 houses that meet their criteria and they choose from them. All of these places are cute and have no problems and they find the one they were looking for and live happily ever after. Well, TV LIES! The first place we looked at was ok, to the eye, for 2 doublewides attached together. I was mostly interested in the land. Well considering it’s like pulling teeth to get a bank to give you a loan on a manufactured home, it was useless to try. On to the deceptive wonder version 1. A cute looking cape cod on almost 2 acres with a detached 2 car garage, with Bedford stone. You pull up and it looks nice enough. You try to ignore the home owners who refuse to leave and that are creeping out. You walk up to the house and realize quickly you have been deceived. This cute house has more issues than my mom’s dog Bradley. After that slap in the face, you move on to deceptive wonder version 2. It just sound too good to be true, well guess what, it is. Never trust a house listed as rustic. I means coming apart at the seams. So you slink over to the Cabana Room to put a cold glass of rum and coke up to your sore face. Because you have been slapped yet again and it’s starting to really hurt. So you calm your self with yet another rum and coke and a chocolate martini for good measure, while letting a good cigar sooth your soul, only to have one whopper of a headache later. You learn that when you haven’t been feeling well, that booze and a cigar isn’t a good idea. You start to get pissed off at those shows that show perfection and happy endings and think of taking a baseball bat to the TV while you search the house listings for the bazillionth time. I feel like banging my head against the wall. I keep getting told that you look at tons of houses before you find the right one. Well, they were just looking for a house, and if Brett and I were just looking for a house, we would have found something cute and cozy and would be sealing the deal by now, but we have to have a place that we can have Katelin at, and that limits us down to 4 places. So where are these tons!!!!??? ARRG!!!! You see my problem here. I may have found something promising. I checked it out from above, asked my agent for more info, and even called the agent listing it, to see if there is anything wrong with the flipping place. So far it checks out. This 9 year old house may be for us. Now to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, and brace for yet another possible slap in the face as we go check this one out. Right now I’m in the poke Brett with a stick to get him to get up and brush himself off, phase of that plan. All and all, it’s been interesting. I’m looking forward to Sunday. I hope it turns out well. I’m going to miss the Horse Fair, but really right now it’s a bit of a waste of money. There is nothing there that I can’t buy somewhere else, though I do like looking at the horses and gorgeous stallions. I can go next year. I will most likely need something that I can only get there by then. But I will get to have my Shiner with me at least all weekend, so that’s a defiant plus. I hope it’s a good weekend. Well I’m done rambling now. Till next time! Laters! Savvy? -Aislin
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So after a stressful day of will Brett’s project at work be done in time to go see this house, which we’ve had an appointment to see, everything works out and we go and see the house. Yeah…that was interesting. We get there 5 minutes early, and the owners are still there. Stupid me, thinks they are just running late getting out of there. Nope they want to stay; they will just “stay out of our way”. Yeah, I don’t like that at all. Makes me uncomfortable, I can’t give a place my true opinion when the owners are there. So we walk up to the house and right away see some siding coming down and a bent up vent. Looking past that we trudge on into a thrown together breezeway, where when you open the door to the house, the garage door pops open. Looking past that, we go into the kitchen, and notice the hole in the wall with no obvious purpose. I look at the kitchen and it looks decent. It’s long and clean, but no trim to be found. There are areas where we can see the inside of the wall, because trim is no there. Oh yes, the place was nicely painted, but the lack of trim made it look incomplete. The master bedroom was small. I had a bigger bedroom in my apartment. The bathroom shower looked thrown together. There was a structural problem and holes in the deck. The yard was big enough, and the neighbors seemed nice, but they only put new siding on 3 sides of the house. The 4th side had wood siding with peeling blue paint and a big piece of plastic over a covered up window that led to the thrown together shower. The owners told the agent they are firm on their price. We had to laugh, because we would not pay that much for the house. With that much work to do. Yes it’s all cosmetic, but it’s the kind that is expensive, and we can’t afford that. So it’s put away for now an back to the drawing board I go. It’s not a total loss. There are other prospects. The main things are, I want a house that will work for us, that we can be happy in. A house that I can be proud of, and will be happy living in for a good while and will fit our needs. So I keep on trucking on trying to find that house. If I find it, I’ll let you all know. Which reminds me, how many people actually read my blog? I know of about 4. Come on people speak up. Let me know I’m not alone! Laters! Savvy? -Aislin | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
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Well I just spent the day rearanging the bedroom and scrubbing it and the half bath. Now I'm waiting for my blankets to dry so I can go to bed and rest my poor tired body. We played Rock Band earlier and I realized how much I love music and how much I would loved to do english covers of my favorite Anime songs. Of course no one would want to hear those songs sung by my bad voice, no matter how much fun I had singing them. So I will just have to get by with my Songs of Anime Series and let you adjust the lyrics in your own heads.
I adore the smell of incense. With that said on to the song.
( Yui : Rolling Days, Bleach Opening 5 )
Ok that's all for now. I think the blankets are done and my f'in back is killing me. I'm going to take some pain meds and hobble off to bed. Night all! Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
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Well all of you who that live in the Indy area, how’d you like the condo bonfire yesterday? Made me want barbeque, not really, but yeah. Yesterday was boring there isn’t active work for me anymore I guess so I’m back to being utterly bored at work. Crappy to say the least, but I can deal. I get to catch up on my reading and how much weight I gained since starting this job. I need to invest in a treadmill. Yesterday I got a major craving for sushi. Brett said that we could go to the Oriental Buffet if he can look through Comic Carnival afterwards. I agreed and off we went for dinner. The buffet had a ton of stuff. No miso soup like Tokyo Buffet, but having Sake made up for that. I stuffed myself with yummy food and got a little buzzed on hot sake. Then we skittered over to Comic Carnival to look at all the neat stuff. I bought a How to Draw Anime book and a Naruto Jutsu Power energy drink. I had it today it was good, but I don’t feel like I can do any Jutsus. *shrugs* I got home to find that my phone company decided that they would send me my bill separately. Fun. That killed what little buzz I had. I had to take care of that today. I’m reading a book called Dewey. It’s about a cat that was abandoned at a library as a kitten, and how it touched a town’s hearts. There are fun stories about the cat in there, but also way too much history about the town and the author. I just want to know about the cat. I’m just weird like that. I’m reading the story because it’s supposed to be about a cat, not because I want to learn about a town or the author’s life and history. Seriously, just the cat. From Bagdad With Love was a good animal book. It was pretty good at sticking to talking about the dog. So I recommend that one. But it has some hard to swallow moments to it. Be warned. We are hanging out with J and Renee tonight, so we are all excited about that. It should be loads of fun. *yawn* If I can stay awake long enough. LOL! I want a nap. What’s new? I always do. Brett and I might be hooking up our big freezer soon and buying some meat from the local butcher. I’ve been thinking of that for some time, but of course Coast to Coast convinced him it was time. LOL! Coast to Coast is really not good for his worrying. I’m just glad I won’t have to play the price game with meat. Brett wants to go look at that Cape Cod style house I told him about. There isn’t a lot of room to expand the property, but it looks so cute from the outside and the price is right. I’m just excited that he wants to see a house. I would have to get all new appliances. Which that good and bad. Good, because I would have the ones I want and they should last a while, bad because I would have to come up off the money for that. There’s about $2,000 down the drain. Well something to negotiate with at least. It has a septic system, but city water. Weird I know, no sulfur water, but still has to watch usage. The area is part of a septic elimination program, so we might have help if we want to hook up to city sewer. You pay for it anyway when you pay for city water. It has 4 bedrooms and 1 and a half baths. Just fine for us right now. There is a unfinished basement but it may be able to be finished. There is a walk up attic. If it’s set up like I think it is, then I may use that as my sacred space. It has 2, 2 car garages. One attached to the house, WOOT, and one detached with a workshop. That should be a good start for a kennel. There is just enough room for Katelin, so that’s good. Did I mention the outside looked cute? I sure hope the inside is as cute an inviting as the outside. I’m just waiting for the go ahead from Brett to set up the appointment. If we don’t like this place, we have more options, but for the price, set up, and the look of it. This one might be it for us. *fingers crossed* I want a cute home. I know that’s silly, but I do. Well that’s all for now. Looks like I have more envelope stuffing to do. Laters! Savvy? -Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| *sigh* Well we can’t afford to buy the place we currently live at. It sucks, I really like the place. But, it’s just not in the cards. Plus you can’t have a boarding kennel right across the street from an already established one. You are just asking yourself to fail. So I talked to my agent and revised what we are looking for. Now we are looking for a place to have a kennel with just enough room for Katelin. We already have some good options, and hopefully my agent will find more. We just haven’t found the right place yet. That’s very frustrating. Mainly because I’m ready to start a family with Brett and we aren’t at our goal yet. I know that sound really weird coming from me, but it’s true. Brett says we have plenty of time, but of course like on everything, I’m always in such a rush. Plus I feel we are getting closer to our goal. I know we could make a kennel work. With my animal knowledge and experience, and Brett’s gentle hand and ability to learn quickly, we will make a good team and do just fine. Plus a kennel is more profitable than a boarding stable. But we could work up to adding that in the future too. Brett’s doing great now. He’s eating regularly again. He seems to be able to keep a good mood. He’s getting more sleep on his own, and cares more about himself. He’s quite positive too. I’m glad he’s doing well and I hope it keeps up. I’m also glad he thought of the kennel thing too. In the past I thought about it, but after my Petco experience, I was turned off by it because of bitchy owners. But what Brett suggested has got me rethinking it. It seems almost the perfect set up for us. We love animals especially dogs. We are happy around them and if we own the business we have complete say in how it’s run and how to deal with customers. Plus we would both be there for any kids we have. They would never say that we are never there and they never see us because as they grow up they can be right there with us, caring for the dogs. Brett and I would both be doing something that we love to do, so that would help us a lot. I really think it would work out well for us. The weather was nice for a couple of days though it did bring tornados to Indiana, but now it’s going to get cold again. That’s just not fair. Spring should be coming, not teasing us and retreating. *shakes fist at spring* Brett and I are hanging out with J and Renee Friday. I’m really looking forward to that. I might even drink. *shrugs* I don’t know. Depends if I feel it or not. But with or without, it’s sure to be a lot of fun. It looks like the worm problem at work may be resolved. That’s good, maybe we can actually start getting work done again, without so many interruptions. Well I think that’s all for now. I will post again when I have more updates. Laters! Savvy? -Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Well it’s time again for the latest installment of Aislin’s boring life. To me, I guess it isn’t boring, but to you it most likely is. So here it is, prepared to be bored.
Well my poor Brett has been through hell. His new meds have not been kind. The kittehs and I have been doing our best to help him through. I just hope he feels better soon.
I keep having dreams about seeing my grandpa. I can’t remember what he tells me, but it all has meaning. I wake up and cry, because I miss him so. He isn’t following grandma anymore. She’s sad that she couldn’t see him when he was following her around. But I guess there was a reason he didn’t show himself to her. Maybe he is visiting me in my dreams. It would be nice to think so at least.
Work is still boring. We have a worm in the network. It stopped a whole day of work yesterday. They said it was gone today, but up it popped. It’s frustrating as hell.
The weather is getting warmer, so that is good. The bad news is that we will need to get out and walk all 9 acres and pick up all the sticks, branches, and debris that have found their way on our grounds over the winter. Well I guess it can be written off as a good workout.
Brett and I are starting spring cleaning tomorrow. We are determined to make this house livable. They say that a clean house makes one happy. Not really sure about that, but we’ll give it a try. Plus, we offered for my grandma to come down and stay with us whenever she likes. We want my grandparents on my dad’s side to come and visit to. So we can’t have our house looking like a disaster area when they are hear. It’s embarrassing. Hugely so, and I feel bad when my parent’s Brett’s parent’s or our friends come over and see our mess. Our Christmas tree is still up for goddess sake!
We are trying a money drawing candle. It’s supposed to draw the money for your wants and needs, not make you rich. That’s fine with me I just want enough for a farm, and to support a family with said farm. Or a farm and dog kennel, so Brett can work at home with me.
I’m still waiting to see if we can afford this house. I’ve grown use to it. I blessed it the other day, and it’s starting to feel like home. This house works for us the way it is and we can adjust it to make it even better. If the grooming/boarding place across the street from us moves, then we can start a place up here and not worry about moving. My agent needs to get back with me soon. I don’t want to get attached to this place if we can’t keep it, but it’s getting hard not to.
Now to go play rock band. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I know the title may confuse you, but soon all will become clear.
Let me count the ways.
1. Mom constantly pestering me about what to do with my money (Annoying, but dealwithable)
2. Dad asking about why I'm doing with my money (Uncomfortable and a little suspicious)
3. Mom cornering me and telling me she doesn't like what I'm doing with my money and she got on my account through my dad's name on it and saw my transaction history. (Very annoying, though not at the front of my mind because it's slipped in with another problem my mom wanted to but in on)
4. Hearing from my mother in law that my mom not only viewed my account, but went and got my dad to look at it, and agreeing with me that it's not my parent's business what I do with my money. (Ok, that just pisses me off. I have no debt and more money than my parents and hell of a lot better with managing my money than my mom. It makes me wonder what steps she will take next. Pull my money out of my account to keep me from using it wrong? Neither of my checking accounts or my savings account is safe from my mom. So on Saturday Brett and I are trekking down to the bank and getting joint accounts. Now I know why Nikki changed backs. She knew mom would do this to her.)
Yeah I'm a little annoyed. She caught me off guard and was able to convince me to do something in a way I never would have left up to me. I'm ashamed of that, but you live and learn and the damage is done. I can only move on from here. I really need to stop talking about my home life with her. I need to find a sounding board when I just need to let things out, that don’t try to convince me to take care of things in a totally wrong way. *sigh* My mom knows how to hit me and manipulate me when I'm at my weakest. I love her, but sometimes she really pisses me off. Runs in the family. LOL!
So now in other news. I'm cold as hell. I wish it would warm up. They say it will later in the week, but it will be rainy too. *blech* I'm eagerly awaiting my gift from Tokyo Cowgirl. She got me a charm from a temple and is going to send it to me from Japan. I'm so excited. Also I found a place in Terre Haute Indiana that sells tons of different types of incense for cheap online. It's called Herbs, Heirlooms, and Homebrews Too. It's a great place you should all check it out.
Well I'm sitting here freezing, wondering what to make for dinner and remembering the dishes need to be done tonight. But in the background of my head I'm thinking how I would like to slip into my warm bed with my cats as soon as I get home. Yep I'm tired, what's new. Well I better go back to being productive. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So I'm back at work and once again, pull in 500 different directions and bored at the same time. I don't understand it either. All I know is one of the projects I have to be working on while doing all my front desk stuff, has a tendency to put me asleep. So I have to work a bit on it then skip over to something else to keep myself awake. I wish so much I could work from home. I wouldn't have to get up till it's about time for work. Giving myself just enough time to take care of the animals before plunking myself in front of the old compy and getting to work, while animal planet is on in the background. I wouldn't have to get dressed and the animals could take turns laying on my lap. *sigh* If only. I don't think it's going to happen though. Not unless some wonder job falls out of the sky, or if work takes pity on me and says I can work at least part time at home. Oh, that would be a joy. Of course having horses would be a at home job, but I don't know when that's going to happen though.
Rock Band has been Brett and I's outlet to let go of the day. His Xbox is messing up again, so we may have to spend the money to upgrade.
The farm thing is still up in the air. Hopefully I will know more soon. My urge to push on is ever-present. I'm doing better though, so that's good.
I have a Japanese Peace Lilly now. The cats seem to be leaving it alone. Let’s hope that keeps up. It's pretty low maintaince I just put a aqua globe in it, and check every once and a while to see if I need to fill it.
I need to clean up the house some. We have friends coming over Friday. It will be good to hang out with friends.
I found out one thing though. If you take a week off of work, everything there goes to hell in a hand basket, and it will take you weeks to straiten it back out. Also you will find your pens missing. Want to tick me off at work, then steal my pens. No one is safe then.
I actually banned someone from my desk for that. Needless to say I'm a little perturbed.
I've found since moving I've gotten out of my flow of things that kept me not hating life so much. I stopped watching anime almost all together. Maybe that has more to do with Cat Girl Nuku Nuku being boring repetitive and lacking a good storyline. I need to get some good anime going through my life again. Also I've let this blog go unattended. That just won't do. I love typing my blog.
The ghost bells just went off at work, that reminds me of something I wanted to talk about. First though the ghost bells. We have a door bell for the front door, that use to be for the back, well it has the normal ding dong and nothing else. No other bell setting, but yet out of the blue it will play a different ring, that is not an option on that system. It rings without anyone pushing the button. It's creepy and people think that a ghost that haunts work sets off that ring from time to time.
That brings me to what I was reminded. My mom called me today. My grandma and some of the Texas crew came down to see mom and dad. Well the whole time they were there. Bradley was going nuts seeing things and barking at nothing. He was whacked out seriously. He stopped as soon as they left. It took mom until today to figure it out. Bradley was seeing grandpa. Bradley could always see the departed. He would bark at Murphy, the ghost at the old house from time to time. So we aren't surprised that he could see grandpa, and I'm not surprised that grandpa is still around. He's making sure grandma is going to be ok without him. I doubt he will leave until he's sure she will be just fine. Poor Bradley was probably so confused. He didn't know why grandpa was in that state, he only knew him as someone living. That kind of reaffirms something I experienced after we went back to grandma's house after the viewing. I was sitting on the couch trying to collect my thoughts, feeling utterly overwhelmed and lost, then out of no where in this swelteringly warm house my upper arms get cold. It wasn't a icy cold, but it was very noticeable. I thought after a moment that it could be grandpa touching me. But I figured that more than likely I was just imagining it. But it was right on my upper arms where he use to grab me before and after a hug to say goodbye. I now know that it was him saying goodbye to me. I am thankful for that. I couldn't go up to the casket the day of the viewing, I just couldn't say goodbye. But the next day I could. Leave it to grandpa to be able to tell I couldn't let go and he give me the reassurance I need to do just that. I'm happy I got my one final hug. The hug I needed, that told me he was ok now and I need not worry about him anymore.
Geese this turned out to be a long post and I didn't mean to get all sappy at the end. I just felt it needed sharing. I will try to make the next one shorter and brighter. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Now that everything is said and done, I will talk to you about it. I know I haven't been posting much and what I have posted is on the drunken side and I'm sorry for that. Now to let you know what has been happening.
Yesterday we buried my grandfather. Garrel Thomas Bryant. He was 75 years old and died of complications brought on by lympomic cancer. We found out before Thanksgiving that he was sick. He knew it was useless to fight it, but he did for my grandma's sake. I was hard seeing him a once strong a proud man dwindle rapidly down to a hollow husk of what he once was. He tried hard for grandma, but in the end when he realized he had become a burden for her, he let go and went quickly in his sleep.
I feel compelled to tell his story, even if it is a cliff notes version. He was born to a poor family. They moved around from farm to farm getting work where they could. He and his brothers and sisters survived the great depression. He dropped out of high school to help his aunt and uncle on their farm. He grew up and got married. Where he had 2 kids my Uncle Terry and my Aunt Debbie. He divorced his wife when the kids were still young. He proved for his kids working at Western Electric. There he met my grandma Janet. She and him hit it off and soon were married. So thus he gained a mother for his kids and a new daughter, because my grandma was divorced to with my mother as the only child from her marriage. They became a big family. They started a farm together and they still worked at western electric. They saved and penny pinched, knowing how precious money was. In 1984 he finally got his GED. Even after they retired, they started up a lawn mowing business. Which suited grandpa just fine. He loved fixing things, especially mowers, tractors, and bikes. They did that for 12 years before they decided it was time to really retire. So then they started traveling. They often went to visit family in Texas. When he was at home, if he wasn't tinkering with things he was putting together puzzels for playing games on the computer. He was a man of few words at most times, but he was a man of knowledge. He went out of the way to spoil us. He'd even let us put makeup on him and clip on earings and turn his socks into puppets. He was a man of simple wants and simple needs, that never wanted to be a burden to anyone. He put everyone else first. He had an uncanny ability to hide twinkies on his person and make them appear when he had a craving for them. I saw him a few days before he died. He had been not all there and confused, but that day his head was clear and he was happy to see Brett and I. He was so thin and tired. His appetiet was non existent. This saying something for a man who would eat anything that you wouldn't. He loved a good meal. I loved him and still do. Though he is not physically here, I know he's still with us. It was hard seeing him in that casket. It wasn't like him. When ever he slept he snored. And there he was quiet. They put the orange had with rabbit fur in the casket with him. I got him that hat when I worked at Gander Mountain. He loved it and they thought it suiting that it went with him. I was honored to know something I gave him was going to be buried with him. Though I thought they should have shoved some twinkies, chocolate covered peanuts, and a puzzle in with him. It was hard saying goodbye, knowing it was an ending to a great man's story. He was so gentle and kind, but that's how the world works. The best of us don't last as long as the rest of us. It's like a strange cosmic balance that has to be kept. I had Brett there when I said goodbye to my grandpa for the last time. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have Brett there with me. I heard my grandma talk about how she and grandpa were always together. Doing everything together and I sat back and thought that it's like Brett and I. I don't think I could handle it, if I ever lost Brett. He is my other half and I would be lost without him. If we had a farm and kids I would be obligated to continue on, but I would never be the same. Never be happy. Never be complete without him.
But life does go on. Right now the only thing that is pulling me through is the hope of a farm. I may have found the one for us, but I have to wait to see if Brett gives his ok. I hope he does. Well now to drink myself silly. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| | Tags: | drunk | | Current Music: | Anything on America Idol | | Current Location: | Home | | Subject: | Drunk yet again. | | Time: | 08:29 pm | | Current Mood: | ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/drunk.gif) drunk |
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| Yet the keys are sooo soft. Could be my fucked up senses. Sorry if I spell things wrong. Remember I am drunk and I suck at spelling. So yeah. 3/4 through a bottle of wine and I'm schooling American Idol on easy. I'm not making it up. Simon loves me. I'm eating chicken lazagnia. Yeah I misspelled that, want to fight about it. I hope this post is amusing to you. I blew a .08 on a cheap ass breathalizer. I'm waaaay beyond that. Or I'm an f'ing light weight. Either way I don't drink and drive. It's my policy. If I feel anything at all from the booze I hang up my keys. Well time to finish my food and get back to singing after I pee of course. GO TEAM SEA SLUG! Points if you get that. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin (The next American Idol: Bow down bitches)
p.s. Best $20 I ever spent. | | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment |
| Well it's snowing again.
For those of you that aren't in Indy, then know this. It snowed 14inchs last week, which locked us in for 2 days and I got to work from home and hurt my back shoveling snow. A investment in a snow blower is in our future. Well we just got dug out of that last snow and the roads were back to normal and then mother nature decided to let us have it again. It's only going to be a few inches, but it's enough to mess up everyone's day and tick us off.
Good news, is that I may not lose my health coverage for depression. That's good, because I found if I miss my 2X daily med. I get really bitchy and want to hurt people. So it's better for all if I can continue to afford my meds.
Well it's offical. The doctors say that my grandpa only has a couple weeks left. I'm going up to see him Saturday and I should be able to drop by and see him after my doctor's appointment Monday. I'm kind of a mix of emotions. I knew it was coming, wanting to admit it or not. I've seen my uncle go through this, and I'm glad my grandpa isn't suffering as much. I feel so sorry for my grandma. I can't even imagine what losing a spouse feels like. I know it would most likely kill me if I ever lost Brett. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel. My meds are helping me keep in control though. I cried silently in Brett's arms when I found out that it was all over but the shouting as Mom put it. I knew I had people I could talk to. One of which is my Mother in law. She has been a great support to me though all of this. Concidering the time I was limited on my options and I just wanted to get my mind off of it. So I put in a call to Tokyo Cowgirl. It's been great having her a phone call away. She's great to talk to. What I didn't expect was for me to break down first thing on the phone call. I knew she would understand and be able to get my mind off of things. I just feel sorry for her having to hear me blubbering on the phone first off. But she helped me greatly and I'm really appreciative. Between her an my crazy kitten that seems to know when I'm feeling down, I was able to pull myself together again. I slept through the night ok. I feel asleep to The Princess Bride and woke up when Unforgiven came on, only to find Rory watching it intently. Who knew she was a Clint Eastwood fan, or is it she just likes westerns. Either was she takes after me alright. I'm doing better. I really am. But I won't be 100% for awhile and I think everyone will understand that.
We can't afford the place in Greenfield, but there is a place closer to home we can. So when all this blasted snow goes away I'll go see it and see if it will fit what we need. I think it will.
Well I need to get back to work. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I've been so busy and had no motivation, so I haven't been able to write much. Work is uber hecktic. They are hiring more people since they decided to move all physical work up to our office. The smartest thing they did in eons. I've come to terms with the fact that Brett and I can't afford where we are now. There are other options available so we aren't screwed. Like a cute little house with and old barn on Mitthoeffer. There is a horse boarding buisness in Greenfield. There are also a couple places in Franklin. I would rather move to Franklin if I can't get something by my stomping grounds. But that place in Greenfield is really temping. It's already fully working so I can dive right in. The only draw back other than convincing a bank that it makes enough money, is that I have a huge distaste for Greenfield. Why, you might ask, it's because I have never met one good person that has come from there. Not one. My sister and I both have horrible ex's from there. And I've known some nasty ass people that came from there too. Right now we have to wait and weigh our options. We are out of debt but we need to build a savings account. No matter how much we have for a down payment, it would be stupid to get a house without having some savings together for an emegancy. Anthem might stop paying for my depression treatment. Why, because out of the blue I'm going to my doc once a month and am on 2 different meds. How lame is that. I would have to go off of one of my meds, the one that keeps me motivated, if they cut my insureance for it. Asshats. Well we are trucking on. Time will tell. Well I'm going to go back to drinking and watching NCIS I love Gibbs and I wish I was Abby. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Ok. Today I think I'm offically drunk. I managed to get my cell from my husband, but the world is spinning, I feel like I'm going to puke, and Brett had to help me to bed. He took a pic of me too. That's lame. Well as soon as the world stops spinning I can sleep. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| Sorry for the delay in posting. A lot has been going on. We are moved in the place and I love it. We now have internet and cable. I purchased a 32inch LCD Phillips HDTV for Brett. Combined with the surround sound made Brett pretty happy. Thought my old fashioned recever doen't like HD I might have to look into a new recever. Sad, but possible.
Ok. This has been the suckiest December on record. I found out that my Grandpa is dying and my Grandma is in denial. We moved in the snow. There was threat of lay offs at work, so I had to switch to working production while working my normal job. Brett's parent's put down Jessie on Christmas Eve. My family's chrismas has been moved to next weekend, because my nephew has been sick and went to Reily because of it. My allergies have been driving me crazy and I can't get any rest. I just want to rest. I've been feeling like shit. We reintroduced Rory and Shiner. It went well, but the Roar will have to get use to the Shine being around.
I want to sleep for a long time, but I can't. I just can't.
I was playing Catan and ruling the game last night when I realized if I could make a lot of money in realestate if I wasn't worried about putting all my money into a farm. Maybe I need to rethink things. I doubt I will act on anything. I just want to own this place and build a farm here. Is that too much to frikkin ask?
Well I got to go. I can't stop yawning. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| I'm just going to post something quick before I have to go back to mindless tasks.
Works threatening another lay off and this time no one is safe, so I'm not doing production work on top of my normal tasks and expected to keep up with the production team.
Brett and I both feel like shit because of all that is going on.
We won't have internet till the 21st because AT&T are stupid fucks.
My washer and dryer are hooked up and running now. That's good.
We are getting a free christmas tree. That's good.
Dinner was good last night. That's good.
I learned how to use my stand mixer. That's good.
I have a ton of dishes to do tonight. :(
We still have to patch holes and clean the apartment.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
Well more bad than good but there is good, so my life doesn't suck completely. Now I have to go get coffee and get to work. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: Leave a comment |
| It stand for Fuck My Life. The phrase had been running around work for a while and to keep people from getting in trouble it was condenced down to F my L. I generally hate Brett going around saying that but right now it seems to be true for me.
We moved a ton of stuff on a snowy nasty day. Because we were broke Brett and I did nothing for our first anniversery. Instead we went to his parent's house were I sent the day vegging on the couch while he watched football with is dad and brother. woo -_- The interrnet is still not on at our house. The length of us being able to stay there is depending on the health of my Aunt's Grandma. I'm broke as hell. I have to unpack everything in a bout a week. I have to clean up the apartment before saturday. And to top it all off the doctors say my grandpa may not live to see christmas. I usually try to keep the emo crap off my blog. But seriously this is a F my L situation. I know full well it could be worse and I sure as hell hope it doesn't become worse. But my meds are fighting hard to keep me sane right now. I really just want to break down and cry. Why is this all happening now. Can't I just have a nice holiday? I really hope everyone has a good christmas and a happy new year. Have it for me please, because it seems like I'm going to have a blue christmas.
It's funny too. I heard Blue Christmas at the Wallgreens that we stopped at to get milk before I got the news about my grandpa. After I got the news, it kept playing in my head. And this morning on the way to work, they played a Porky Pig rendition of it on the radio. Now it's playing in my head again. It seems to fit. I'll stop this Emo post now. Laters! Savvy?
-Aislin | | comments: 2 comments or Leave a comment |
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